Teach

Children’s behavior and adults’ response is a common theme in popular culture: angry or witless school principals, drill sergeant-like teachers, clueless parents, and “problem children” are the stuff of many popular shows and movies. Many give extreme portrayals: adults appear either powerless or power-hungry. Children are portrayed as conniving aggressors or bystanders. In all cases, there is a mismatch between the circumstances and an adult’s response. In some of these cases, as in real life, at the root of this mismatch is unrealistic expectations for children’s behavior. Your job is to help staff members develop their knowledge of child development and to use guidance strategies that match a child’s development.

New staff members may have limited knowledge about what behaviors and levels of guidance are acceptable at different developmental stages. Adults who possess good judgment, are well prepared, have the ability to relate to all children, empathize with them, and care for them can be expected to foster the development of these same abilities in children (Fields et al., 2014). It is important to recognize that guidance is not something that adults do to children. Instead, guidance is a partnership that adults partake in with children. When adults have appropriate expectations for children, children are less likely to feel frustrated and act out.

The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) refers to this as developmentally appropriate practice. Developmentally appropriate experiences are formed through a decision-making process that considers these concepts (NAEYC, 2020):

• Commonality: Knowledge of child development and learning
• Individuality: Knowledge of each individual child’s strengths, needs, and interests
• Context: Knowledge of the social and cultural context for children, families, and staff each child’s culture

The concept of developmentally appropriate practice is probably familiar to you. It is the foundation of curricular experiences for young children. As a decision-making framework, however, developmentally appropriate practice is relevant to all of the children and staff in your child-development and school-age programs. As you work with staff, help them apply the concept of developmentally appropriate practice to child guidance:

In programs with a positive approach to guidance, behavior is seen as an opportunity for connection and learning. Behavior communicates something about the child’s wants, needs, or emotional state. It is the adult’s responsibility to learn to understand the child’s communication. It is also the adult’s responsibility to create an environment that supports each child and youth’s growing independence and sense of belonging.

What Behaviors are Typical for Each Age Group?

Just as with all areas of development, there are certain behaviors that are typical as children progress through developmental stages. These behaviors often challenge adults, but they are to be expected. Consider the examples in the table below and begin thinking about how you can prepare staff members to respond appropriately to these behaviors:

Infants

For very young infants who are not yet mobile, the most important thing staff can do is to provide consistent care and nurturing. They must provide a predictable environment that meets the infant’s needs for comfort, safety, food, and rest. Remember that crying is a form of communication. Staff members must respond to the baby’s cues that they are hungry, tired, bored, or in need of a diaper change. Remind staff members to always think about each child’s behavior in context of the relationships they have with the child:

• Is the infant new to the program or the room? If so, the infant may be experiencing separation anxiety from loved ones. Infants need a consistent, nurturing adult to help them feel secure.
• Does the infant cry a lot, or is crying unusual? All babies cry, but some cry more than others. Look for signs that the baby is uncomfortable. Help staff members know how to soothe the baby by holding her, rocking her, walking her, singing songs, and providing soothers like a pacifier. They may also try burping the baby.
• Is the infant tired or teething? Talk to family members to gain insight into a baby’s moods and behavior.

The key to guidance is trying to understand the infant and what they are communicating through behavior. There is rarely a reason to tell a non-mobile infant “No.” As staff members focus on meeting each infant’s needs, they will naturally use the most effective guidance strategies for this age group: responsiveness and positive interactions.

Mobile Infants

As is the case with younger infants, positive interactions are the foundation of guidance with mobile infants. Staff members help mobile infants learn the foundation of self-control by helping them learn to explore safely and begin soothing themselves. To keep the baby or others safe, there may be times when staff members must help the baby stop a certain behavior. Perhaps the baby is pulling someone’s hair or trying to wiggle out of the stroller safety harness. According to Zero to Three (2009), staff members should focus on redirecting the baby’s attention: Set limits clearly and firmly, but do not get angry. For example, when a mobile infant pulls another child’s hair, a staff member might say, “That hurts Bryson’s head. Let’s pull on this squishy ball.” They might distract the child who is trying to escape the stroller by pointing out an interesting animal, offering them something to hold, or singing a song together. Mobile infants respond well to guidance techniques that:

• Help them know what to do rather than what not to do. Staff members use positive language like, “Come to the climber” instead of “Stop climbing the bookshelf.”
• Provide safe spaces for exploration. Make sure everything in the room is safe for tiny fingers and mouths.
• Continue responding to the infant’s needs. Remember, crying is a form of communication. Staff members must respond quickly when an infant is hungry, tired, hurt or uncomfortable. Crying can also be a cue that the infant wants to engage or interact with something they cannot reach.  Observe infant’s cues (e.g., the direction of their stare or reach) and try to help them accomplish their goals.

Children from Toddlerhood through School-Age

There are several guidance principles that work consistently once children reach toddlerhood and progress into the school-age years. Although staff members must learn the nuances, such as developmentally appropriate language and interactions, of working with children in each age group, the basic principles of guidance remain constant for toddlers and school-age children.

All of the principles listed below work best in the context of strong relationships with each child. These techniques are adapted from the Massachusetts School-Age Coalition and expand on early childhood work by Patricia Hearron and Verna Hildebrand (2013). Be sure to teach and enforce the following techniques in your program (you will learn more about these techniques in the next two lessons):

Appropriate expectations for children’s behavior: Rules, expectations, and guidelines help create a positive social climate in your program. All of the staff and managers in your program might work together to develop the expectations. Staff members might also involve children in developing rules and expectations. Limit the rules or expectations to a few key ideas that apply broadly. It is easiest to remember a few expectations like, “Respect each other” or “We are safe.”

Managing space, time, and energy: Adults arrange and rearrange the physical space and the schedule to meet children’s needs. An example is moving furniture to eliminate a large open space that children use for running. Another example is providing many activity choices, so wait time is minimized or used productively. Teach staff to first consider their environments (physical space and time) when a child displays challenging behavior.  Help staff members see the way the organization of space or time influences the decisions children make.

Experiences that engage the whole child: Curricula, or programming, is the foundation of everything you do in your program. If children are bored, over-stimulated, or disinterested, they will engage in challenging behavior. Busy learners don’t have time for challenging behavior! Teach staff members how to use your curriculum or programming and observe regularly to ensure they are using materials effectively.

Acknowledging trauma: Remind staff members that trauma impacts children’s behaviors and staff members’ responses. For some children, trauma may make them appear fearful or withdrawn. For other children, trauma may lead them to respond in ways that appear aggressive or silly. All of these responses help the child or youth protect themselves. Adults must take the time to build relationships and understand what may be behind children’s behaviors. Consistent routines, predictable adults, and a program that emphasizes emotional support help children, youth, and staff navigate trauma.

Maximizing our relationships: Guidance is based on relationships. Strategies develop as you and staff members observe, listen to, and get to know the children. Strong relationships are based on finding and recognizing the positive attributes of every child. Make sure staff members spend “neutral” time with children, just listening, playing, and enjoying time together.

Expressing feelings: Adults who help children express their feelings nurture empathy. A staff member might say, “I can tell you’re sad about what just happened between you and Terese. Would you like me to help you talk to Terese about it?” Adults must also be genuine and express their own feelings. A staff member might say, “I’m feeling a little bit frustrated that I can’t get this computer program to work. I’m going to go find someone who can help us.” You might say to a staff member, “I’m really disappointed that we didn’t get the new playground equipment. We’ll try again next time.”

Notice and recognize positive behaviors: An important aspect of positive guidance is encouragement. Staff members should notice and describe accomplishments and positive behaviors. A staff member might say, “Jonah, I bet you are really proud of yourself for solving that problem.” Or “I noticed that you gave Sonya a turn on the computer. She really appreciated that. Thank you.” Teach staff how to stop and notice the positive behaviors that happen each day. Provide positive feedback to staff members when you observe them encouraging children.

Provide short, clear directions: Staff members use a natural tone of voice and make eye contact. They check in to make sure children understand.  Teach staff members to tell children what to do instead of what not to do.

Provide choices: Whenever possible, staff members offer children a choice. This promotes independence and self-regulation. It also minimizes challenging behavior. Any time staff members have to say “no,” you might suggest they offer two acceptable choices to children. For example, they might say, “You cannot run in here. But you can go to Zumba in the gym, or you can join Ms. Stephanie outside.”

Redirect children to appropriate behaviors: When a challenging behavior occurs, adults must know how to redirect children’s behaviors to get them back on track. “No,” “stop,” and “don’t” do little to help a child know what to do.  An example of a positive redirection is, “Keep the scissors in the sewing area” or “Walk in the hall.”

Facilitate social problem-solving: Staff members help children know what to do when they have a problem. They help children learn to recognize their problem, come up with solutions, make a decision, and try it out. Teach staff members about the resources available to help them with this work. This strategy will be expanded upon in Lesson Three.

Prevent Inappropriate Responses to Challenging Behaviors

You and all the staff members in your program have a professional responsibility to keep children safe from harm. This includes emotional, psychological, and mental harm. There are certain types of behaviors (often used in the name of “punishment”) that have the potential to inflict harm and model aggression. When staff members use aggressive techniques with children, children and their families learn that aggressive responses to behavior are OK. That is not the message we want to send children and families. You must make sure staff members know that the following practices have no place in child development and school-age programs:

• Corporal punishment: Staff may not, under any circumstances, strike, hit, whip, spank, or use any other form of physical punishment on a child of any age.
• Withholding physical needs: Staff may not, under any circumstances, withhold food, sleep, physical activity or other needs, like toileting, from a child as punishment.
• Yelling, shaming, belittling, or threatening a child: Staff may not, under any circumstances, intentionally make a child fear for their physical or psychological safety. Staff may not call children hurtful names, threaten children, or make children feel shame.
• Isolating a child: Staff may not punish a child by leaving them alone (e.g., leaving a child on the playground alone because they did not line up with the group) or by putting the child in “time out” in an enclosed space, such as a closet, restroom, or cardboard box.
• Binding or restricting a child’s movements: Staff may not punish a child by preventing them from being able to move or speak (i.e., covering a child’s mouth or hands with tape).

These practices are not in line with the ethical code of conduct established by the NAEYC (see https://www.naeyc.org/sites/default/files/globally-shared/downloads/PDFs/resources/position-statements/Ethics%20Position%20Statement2011_09202013update.pdf).  In addition, the Council on Accreditation’s Standards for Child and Youth Development Programs, prohibits negative approaches to behavior management, including, but not limited to:

• corporal punishment
• aversive stimuli
• withholding nutrition or hydration
• inflicting physical or psychological pain
• demeaning, shaming, or degrading language or activities
• unnecessarily punitive restrictions
• forced physical exercise to eliminate behaviors
• punitive work assignments
• punishment by peers

group punishment or discipline for individual behavior

Model

Model a positive approach to behavior in all your interactions with children and staff. Be intentional in the ways you talk to children, families, and staff:

• State directions in the positive (what to do instead of what not to do). Model this behavior with everyone you see. This makes a big difference in the overall climate of your program. When you see children moving too quickly in the hallway, say, “Walk safely please” instead of “Stop running.” Imagine telling a staff member, “Don’t turn in your lesson plan late again.” This sends the message to the staff member that you think they might turn the plan in late. Send positive messages by saying, “Remember your plans are due tomorrow.” This also opens an opportunity to ask if the staff member needs any support.
• Recognize staff for their efforts and achievements. Provide positive feedback individually (“You did so much research on rocks for this week’s investigation. It really paid off in the classroom when the kids started brainstorming what they wanted to learn.”). Consider ways to motivate staff members through recognition bulletin boards or newsletters.
• Follow and talk about the rules or expectations set by your program. If you don’t talk about the expectations, it is unlikely others will. It might feel silly at first to thank staff for being “responsible” or “safe,” but this provides an important model for staff members.
• Talk about potential bias and model reflecting on your own assumptions. Pause while discussing behavior concerns and ask yourself important questions: What do I expect from other children this age? You can model statements like, “I’m noticing something about myself. Jadyn is big for his age, and I keep thinking he is older than he is. Let’s pause for a moment and make sure we’re thinking fairly about Jadyn’s behavior.”
• Offer staff choices whenever possible. Whenever you can, provide choices about classroom assignments, scheduling, classroom materials, and planning. Also consider whether there are different ways staff can get feedback: do they want you to send them an email about their weekly plans, or do they want to talk in person?
• Coach staff around their interactions with children. Observe all the strategies described in the Teach section. Help staff members notice the details of their interactions and describe the effect their behavior had on children.

Observe

Observation is your best tool for learning about staff members’ approaches to positive child guidance. During observation you can also see evidence of what staff know about child development and expected behaviors. Watch this video to hear Training and Curriculum Specialists talk about their role in positive child guidance, the expected behaviors they regularly see, and what they do to support staff in programs.

Now watch two videos of classroom interactions. What do you notice about approaches to positive guidance? What do you think staff know about child development and expected behaviors? What would you do to celebrate positive guidance and support staff members’ learning?

In the next lessons, you’ll learn more about how to support staff in designing effective environments that guide behavior and in nurturing interactions. You’ll use your knowledge of child development to help staff members make good decisions and guide children’s behavior.