According to Jim Greenman, respect means accepting, as we do with children, that family members are individuals:

• Some will be friendly and outgoing; some won’t.
• Some will be forthcoming with information about the child and family; some won’t.
• Some will be interested in becoming involved in the life of the center; some won’t.
• Some will read newsletters avidly, come to meetings, bring changes of clothes, pay fees on time, never be late picking their child up; some won’t.
• Some will exemplify our own views about exemplary child rearing; some won’t.
• Some will be very grateful for the care their child is receiving and will let you know; some won’t.
• Some will feel guilty or sad about using child care; some won’t.
• Some will be critical of care; some won’t.

You can use this list to initiate a discussion with staff as a way of exploring their feelings about family members who might exhibit some of the behaviors listed above. Encourage them to identify strategies for interacting with families who they perceive as being challenging to connect or partner with. Share the scenarios below with your staff members. The point of this exercise is to help you and your staff to understand that feelings are natural, but responses may need to be tempered depending on the situation.

1. You receive a call from a parent at the end of the day. Harper, a child in your program, just celebrated her birthday and her family sent in homemade cupcakes to share with Harper’s class. Harper’s parent was very upset when Harper came home with the cupcakes untouched and wants an explanation from Harper’s teacher about why her birthday wasn’t celebrated with her class. What might you say to Harper’s parent? How would you support Harper’s teacher in navigating this situation with Harper’s parent?
    
2. Trina, one of your school-age staff members comes to you with concerns about a parent. This parent has reached out to Trina about another child spitting on their child, Zeke. Trina explains that she witnessed the incident, that it was an accident and the other child apologized to Zeke and the two children went back to playing. Trina says that she explained this to Zeke’s parent, but that the parent insists the other child has been bullying Zeke. What steps would you take to help Trina resolve this matter with Zeke’s parent?
    
3. Candice, a preschool teacher in your program, is having tension with a parent. Jake, a 3-year-old in Candice’s classroom, explores and engages in a variety of activities, including pretend play. Jake’s family has asked Candice not to let Jake play with the baby dolls because “caring for baby dolls is for girls.” Candice has quietly ignored this request and continues to let Jake play with the dolls. Now Jake’s family is angry and accusing Candice of trying to push her beliefs on their child. What might you say to Candice, and how would you move forward to help repair the relationship with Jake’s family?
    
4. Kayla, a toddler in your program, is almost always the last child to be picked up by her parents. One day after Kayla is picked up, a staff member says to you, “I wish they cared more about their child, Kayla deserves better.” How might you respond to this staff member? What steps (if any) would you take to address this way of thinking in your program?