Know

You have already learned that understanding how children develop and learn (i.e., child development) is a protective factor against child abuse and neglect. Why do you think this is true? What are the risks of not understanding child development? If we don’t understand child development, we are likely to think a child should act older than he or she is. We might put children in situations that are too challenging for them, causing the child and ourselves to get frustrated. The child may not understand what we want, and we may not understand why the child won’t “behave.”

Understanding child development is a protective factor helps us recognize when a child needs extra help. If we do not understand child development, we might become frustrated instead of recognizing an opportunity to scaffold or strengthen a child’s experiences. When we get frustrated, we do not use our best thinking. We are less able to problem-solve, use new practices, think creatively, and be patient. We may be less able to support the children who need our help the most.

Let’s begin by thinking about some common behaviors you might see every day in programs for infants, toddlers, preschoolers and school-agers:

• Solomon is a young infant. He cries for long portions of the day.
• Flora has pulled every toy off the shelf and keeps going back for more. She is always right behind you every time you try to start cleaning up. She doesn’t seem to want to play with the toys. She’s just really interested in touching everything.
• You told Hilary it was time to get a diaper change. She yelled, “No!” and ran away from you.
• Zoe is having lunch in a highchair. She says, “All done” and starts throwing peas on the ground. She barely ate anything.
• Carli and Claire only want to play with each other. They tell other children, “You can’t play with us.”
• Clark does not nap. He never falls asleep and is always moving when asked to lie down.
• Aylen comes running to you screaming, “He hit me!”
• It’s time to go to elementary school, but Taylor is still eating breakfast and moving very slowly.
• Two boys get in a fight over who deserves a foul in their pick-up basketball game.
• Claire keeps getting the candy she got at school out of her backpack even though she has been asked several times to put it away.

Based on what you have seen, heard, or experienced in your work or in your community, do these scenarios ring true? Have you seen them happen? Have you experienced them? If you have spent time in family child care programs serving young children and youth, you have likely seen some or all of these behaviors. They are reflections of typical child development. We all go through stages as we grow, and certain behaviors can be expected at certain stages. This does not mean that all behaviors are easy for us as adults to deal with. It does mean that we can be prepared to recognize behaviors as reflections of growth and help children develop and mature. You will learn more about this in the Cognitive Development course.

Let’s take look at how children typically develop from birth to 12 years. The information on this table is compiled from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/index.html) and the Ages and Stages Questionnaire (ASQ). You can find this information in easy-to-use information sheets in the Apply section.

As you read the milestones, did you notice any behaviors that might frustrate or challenge adults? This table can help you remember that behaviors like biting, mouthing everything, tantrums, not following directions, talking back to adults, occasionally lying, and making demands can all be normal parts of development. As adults, we have to be prepared to respond positively and constructively. You’ll learn more about how to do that in the next two lessons.

Remember, these milestones tell us what children typically do at certain ages. They are not hard and fast rules. Individual children will vary a great deal in when and how they reach different milestones. If you have a concern about a child’s development, talk to your family child care administrator.

Understanding Temperament

Temperament influences how each of us interacts with the world and the people around us. If you reflect on your own personality and preferences, it becomes clear that we all have certain ways we interact. Understanding our own temperament and the temperaments of the children around us can be very helpful. We are born with certain temperament traits or styles, and temperament is thought to be consistent across a life span. There are nine temperament traits that you might see in yourself and the children around you, as identified by Thomas, Chess, and Birch in Temperament and Behavior Disorders in Children (1968). Read below to see the nine traits and examples of characteristics on the extreme of each trait. Remember, most children fall somewhere in the middle of each continuum.

Activity Level Jared prefers to sit on the couch and read a book. Sasha is always on the move. She plays with every toy and seeks out active play items much of the day.

Regularity Felicia has variable schedules. Some days she eats snack, and some days she doesn’t. She chooses different activities every day. Lucas likes his routines. He gets up at the exact same time every morning and eats the same things for breakfast every day.

Distractibility Micah moves from activity to activity. It is easy to shift his attention to a new idea or project. Malia enjoys working on projects for long periods of time. She can spend an afternoon drawing careful pictures.

Approach to New Things Abby prefers to watch other children participate in activities before she tries. Clyde is the first one to volunteer during special activities.

Adaptability Blair misses her friends from her old school. She talks about her old program every day and has not joined into activities in your program. Juan joined right into the read-aloud group during his first library field trip with you and left with several new friends.

Intensity of Reactions Jillian rarely shows emotions. She remains relatively calm. Bryce’s parents love to film his reactions to special events and surprises: he gets so excited. When he is upset, it is best to give him space. When he is excited, upset, or surprised, everyone around him knows.

Threshold of Responsiveness Summer is often described as “being in her own little world.” Calvin gets upset if you give him a direction or correct him. He seems very sensitive.

Quality of Mood Liv tends to worry about things and seems serious most of the time. Talia is generally happy and cheerful.

Attention Span and Persistence Foster is interested in many different things. He tends to dabble: he will start a project, get bored, and move onto a different project. Malik does multi-day and multi-week projects. He has been working on a model car for two weeks. He wants to get every detail perfect.

Take a minute to reflect on your own temperament. How do you define your temperament traits? How does understanding temperament help you understand your own behaviors and the behaviors of children?

Thomas, Chess, and Birch also have identified three temperament types that summarize these traits. The three temperament types are:

• Adaptable: These are “easy children.” They are open to new situations, have a moderate activity level, and are generally happy.
• Feisty: These children have a high activity level and usually strong responses to new stimuli. They might be considered energetic, assertive, and full of emotion.
• Cautious: These children need time and support to feel comfortable in new situations. They might be considered timid or serious.

Now take a minute to think about your own temperament type. Which of the three do you relate the most to? Do you find it easier to work with individuals (including children) who share your own temperament type? If you have a feisty temperament, you might find it harder to engage and connect with cautious children. You might think they move slowly or take too long to adjust. You might not understand why they need so much help or space. If you have a cautious temperament, you might find yourself challenged by the energy level of feisty children. You might think they are always moving or yelling. Knowing your own temperament lets you step back and recognize these challenges or tensions as part of your personal interaction style. This lets you take steps to prevent stressful interactions between yourself and children.

How can you use an understanding of temperament in your work to prevent child abuse and neglect? First, understanding temperament helps you remain calm and see frustrating situations as potential personality differences. Second, you can use your understanding of a child’s temperament to come up with solutions to problems that work for them. Here are a few ways you can use temperament in your work:

Tips for children with cautious temperaments:

• Provide plenty of space and time for the child to get comfortable. Encourage families to stay as long as possible to help children transition into your program.
• Avoid forcing eye contact or getting in the child’s face. Approach children slowly and give them time to warm up to you. When approaching their body to assist in self-care announce actions you are going to do to support the child prior to taking actions. (“I see your nose is running, I’d like to help you blow your nose.”)
• Minimize changes to schedules and routines.
• Encourage children to bring comfort items, such as a favorite blanket or teddy bear.
• Comfort children when they become upset. Spend time sitting together and watching others play.
• Provide reminders when there will be changes in the schedule. Include a transition time prior to changes in activity. Discuss with child when upcoming transition will occur (“In 5 minutes it will be time to clean up for lunch.”)
• Provide consistent spaces for things like rest, calming spaces, or doing homework.

Tips for children with feisty temperaments:

• Provide lots of opportunities for movement. Let them help turn the pages of stories. Give them extra time to relax before a nap. Take them outside or to parks to run and use their energy.
• Provide opportunities for exploration. Stay close when introducing new or exciting objects. Help the child learn to explore safely.
• Do not punish intense reactions. Rather comfort the child: give hugs and help them work through emotions.
• Support children in recognizing their emotions so that they can identify their emotions and learn cope when strong emotions are experienced. Validate children’s emotions by acknowledging without judgment which characteristics of their emotion they are expressing with their body and behavior.
• Step in when needed to help a child work through difficult interactions with other children.
• Establish daily routines that will help the child feel more secure.
• Provide transition time between activities. This gives child time to finish what they are working on and prepare them for change (“In 5 minutes it will be time to go outside.”)
• Use positive directions by telling children what to do instead of what not to do. This helps children learn how to meet appropriate expectations. (“Use and inside voice please.”)

Children at Risk for Abuse and Neglect

There are three categories of children more at risk for child abuse and neglect: young children, children with special needs, and children with challenging behavior. Why do you think these children are at an increased risk? Generally, these children might have a difficult time communicating, controlling their emotions, following directions, or getting along with others. The adults around them might get frustrated easily or not know how to help the child. This can put the child in a dangerous situation. We must be careful to remember this does not mean that the child causes the abuse and neglect. The child is never to blame. It also does not mean that only children in these categories are abused or neglected. Rather, we must remember to provide extra support to families whose children meet these characteristics.

Children under the age of 4 are at the greatest risk for child abuse and neglect. Can you think of reasons why this might be the case? When we think about the developmental milestones described above, we might see reasons. These children are least able to communicate their wants and needs to us. They are also not developmentally ready to solve complex social problems, regulate their behavior or emotions, and follow complicated directions. All of this leaves them vulnerable to negative interactions with adults who do not understand development.

When children do not meet the milestones described above in predictable ways and at predictable times, we can experience stress. We may not understand the child’s communication, we may not know how to meet the child’s physical needs, or we may doubt our competence. All of this can leave a person feeling helpless and confused. This stress puts children with developmental delays or disabilities at greater risk for child abuse or neglect.

Children with severe and persistent challenging behavior are also at a greater risk for abuse or neglect. When children demonstrate severe and persistent challenging behavior, adults often feel personally challenged. It’s not unusual to feel like a child is “pushing your buttons.” Adults may not know what to do in a moment of crisis, and might resort to unacceptable punishment practices.

Always try to see a child’s behavior through the lens of their developmental age and abilities.  It is not the job of the provider to blame the child’s parents for unwanted behaviors, but instead to partner with families. It is important for educators to help family members understand their child's abilities.

Special Concerns for Infants and Toddlers: Prolonged Periods of Crying

Crying is a normal part of infancy. All babies cry. Between the first and fourth months of life, many infants become more fussy and crying increases. Some experts refer to this as the period of PURPLE Crying. This does not mean babies turn purple from crying. Rather, PURPLE is an acronym describing the characteristics of this stage. You can visit the PURPLE Crying website to learn more: http://www.purplecrying.info/what-is-the-period-of-purple-crying.php  

Even healthy infants sometimes cry for hours during this stage. Sometimes, it can be hard to comfort the infants. They might seem inconsolable. Crying tends to be worse in the evenings, but you might experience prolonged periods of crying with infants in your program. This can be very frustrating, and it might make you doubt your ability to care for the infant. It’s not unusual to begin feeling stress and to need a break. The best thing you can do is to realize that this is a phase in the infant’s development, and it will end. Try offering comfort that may help both you and the crying infant. Can you play some soft, soothing music? If being held helps to calm the infant, can wearing them in some sort of carrier help provide them the comfort they need, while also keeping your hands free to attend to other children and activities?  

Shaken Baby Syndrome

Shaken Baby Syndrome (also known as Shaken Impact Syndrome) is a serious form of abuse that usually occurs when a parent or caregiver shakes an infant out of anger or frustration, often because of prolonged periods of crying. Severe shaking causes an infant’s head to move violently back and forth resulting in serious or fatal brain injury. There is often no external evidence indicating a child has been shaken. The following signs and symptoms may indicate shaken baby syndrome:

• Altered level of consciousness
• Drowsiness accompanied by irritability
• Coma
• Convulsions or seizures
• Dilated pupils that do not respond to light
• Decreased appetite
• Vomiting
• Posture in which the head is bent back and the back arched
• Breathing problems and irregularities
• Abnormally slow and shallow respiration
• Cardiac arrest
• Death

Shaken Baby Syndrome is completely preventable. Caring for an infant can present challenges and frustrations. However, it is never acceptable to shake a baby. The following tips may help prevent abuse:

• Take a deep breath and count to 10
• Take time out and ask another caregiver to take over momentarily
• Call someone for emotional support
• Communicate with parents –there may be a medical reason why the baby is crying
• If you suspect a child has been shaken, call emergency medical services

See

Now let’s think about how knowledge of child development looks in a family child care program. Knowledge of child development comes across as realistic expectations for behavior. Having the right expectations for children of various ages ensures that we are providing appropriate interactions and responses based on their age and level. This can sometimes be more complicated in family child care programs, where there the children in your care may vary greatly in age and skill level. Watch this video to learn more about realistic expectations.

Read the following statements from family child care providers. On the left, you see unrealistic expectations. On the right you see realistic expectations. Which programs do you think feel like better places for children? Which providers do you think feel less stressed at the end of the day?

Do

How can you make sure your expectations of children are appropriate?

• Continue to learn all you can about child development throughout your career. The Virtual Lab School has courses that will help you learn more about cognitive, physical, and social development. You will also learn about how children develop communication skills and a healthy sense of self.
• Gather information about child development to share with families. The handouts from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in the Apply section are a good place to start, but your trainer, coach, family child care administrator, or local resource and referral agency might have other resources you can share.
• As a provider, spend time observing children in your program or in your wider community. This will help you begin to understand what is typical for each child in your care. You can also visit programs that serve children who are older or younger. This will help you take the long view on development. If you expect the same thing from 4-year-olds that you see happening in the school-age program, you are setting yourself up for frustration.
• Remember what you have learned here when you get frustrated. It can be frustrating when a toddler says “No” or bites, or a preschooler refuses to hang up his coat, but this is a part of growing up. Many of the behaviors that challenge adults are very typical parts of normal child development. If you have a concern about a child’s behavior, talk to your trainer, coach or family child care administrator. He or she can help give you perspective on whether the behaviors are typical.
• Ask for help when you need it. We all need new ideas and support. When you are feeling frustrated or unsure about what to do for a child, ask your trainer, coach, family child care administrator, or a fellow family child care provider for ideas. This is a great way to build your own social connections and professional knowledge.