- Describe the various effects of deployment on children and families.
- Describe strategies you can use to support staff before, during, and after families experience deployment.
- Provide support and resources to families related to mental health and well-being.
Children experience a range of emotions, and those emotions are amplified when their families experience stressors that are often caused by a major change like deployment, death, divorce, separation, relocation, or job loss. You and your staff will likely work with children whose families experience these types of stressful events. Each family handles stress differently, and each child will have unique needs. Nevertheless, you can use specific strategies you can use to help staff members support children. It is your job, with the help of trainers and coaches, to make sure staff members are competent and confident in their ability to support the mental health of children and youth.
First, you can introduce staff members to the Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework. This framework is designed to prevent child abuse and neglect, but it is also an excellent way to approach your work with all families. Your program supports children's mental health by strengthening their families. This framework focuses on strengths and promotes overall well-being. While it is beyond the scope of this lesson to completely explain the Protective Factors framework, but you can learn more by visiting https://cssp.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Branching-Out-and-Reaching-Deeper.pdf. For now, you can teach staff about the five protective factors that your program should work to support in all families:
Strengthening Families Protective Factors
By the Center for the Study of Social Policy(Figure 1)
Families are able to manage stress and bounce back from challenges.
Knowledge of Child Development and Parenting
Adults know what to expect as children grow and are able to meet their child’s needs at each stage of development.
Families know there are people who care about them and who they can call on for help.
Concrete Supports in Times of Need
Families can get the help they need when crises strike: food and shelter, medical and mental health services, social, legal, and educational resources.
Social and Emotional Competence of Children
Social and emotional development promotes healthy relationships with others. Children with strong relationships, who can regulate their own behavior, express their emotions, and relate to others, are at lower risk of maltreatment.
You can learn more about the Protective Factors Framework by visiting
For the purposes of this lesson, we will focus on resilience. Resilience is the ability to manage stress and bounce back from challenges. It is important for adults and children alike. Dr. Kenneth Ginsberg has written extensively about how to develop and model resiliency to support military youth. Watch this video about his discussion of the "7 C's" that help children positively cope with the challenges of military life: http://www.fosteringresilience.com/videos.php. You can also read more about the "7 C's" for building resiliency in the Learn resource below, from the International Youth Foundation's, The 7 Cs: The Essential Building Blocks of Resilience.
Keep in mind that all families face a variety of stressors and challenges. For military families, the common stress of deployment continues to impact families long after the deployment has ended and the service member has returned home. Ensure staff members understand that deployment is a multi-stage process. Help them understand the different emotions families go through before, during, and after deployment.
Connect staff members to the resources they need to do their jobs. With the assistance of your program's trainer or coach, support staff members as they implement their ideas to support families before, during, and after deployment. Communicate with staff members so they understand that it is OK to ask for help.
Supervise & Support
As a manager, you should stay connected to the mental health needs of the children and families in your program. Make sure you know which families are experiencing deployments, divorce, relocation, grief, job loss, or any other major stressors. Create opportunities for these families to connect with one another informally or through support networks on your installation or near your program. Also keep in mind that many of your staff members may experience similar life events. Listen to their concerns and help them find proactive ways to handle their stress.
Model a compassionate, problem-solving approach. Let staff members know that you are there to listen any time they need to talk. And make yourself available to families. Although they will probably build the strongest relationships with the staff members who work directly with their children, you can also be a strong supportive resource for families. Advocate for initiatives that will help your program support children, families, and staff through difficult times. The following video demonstrates how one program helps bridge the distance between deployed service members and their children.
Caring for children and families experiencing extreme stress can be challenging for even the most seasoned staff member. Watch for signs that a staff member is overwhelmed or experiencing stress themselves. Be prepared to step in and offer support. Read these scenarios on the left and think about how you would respond.
|Scenario||You might say…|
LaShorage's husband is on his first deployment. She cries every time she thinks about it. She is just not ready to talk to the kids in her class about her emotions and their deployment experiences. Her feelings are too raw.
"LaShorage, I know you're hurting right now. I'm here to talk any time you need me. Let's take it slow. It might help to remember the kids in your class have these same feelings. You can help each other learn to talk about it."
A new parent in your program, Cedric was raised to believe that “boys don’t cry.” He was also taught that it was a sign of weakness to talk about how he was feeling. He tries to understand the lesson his child is learning in your program about emotions, but he really thinks it’s best not to talk about things that are difficult or emotional. He shares with you that he thinks everyone would feel better if they just kept busy.
“Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, Cedric. I can see that you have done a lot of thinking about this. Because everybody processes things differently, we try to help children understand that all their feelings are OK. Being able to name our emotions is a first step in being able to cope with them. And sometimes it helps to talk things through. When a beloved pet dies, it helps to name emotions like sadness to begin to heal raw feelings. What do you think? I really value your input on this subject.”
Stacey has been a military wife and mother for 20 years. She has been through it all. She can comfort kids, co-workers, moms, and dads. In fact, she has a reputation for being a great person to talk to. People seek her out even after their child leaves your program. She always has a hug for everyone and makes each person feel like they are the only person in the room.
"Stacey, can you share some of your experiences and approaches with the other teachers? I think we can all learn from you and the way you connect."
You should also look for signs that staff members are experiencing stress. Watch this video to learn about the signs of stress in caregivers:
If you see any of these signs of stress, recognize that a staff member might need extra support from you. Find time to talk. Plan opportunities to relieve stress. Make sure the staff member takes breaks as needed and has the supports they need outside of work.
It is important that you are familiar with resources related to children’s mental health—particularly those related to deployment. Use the Mental Health Resource Sheet activity as you explore the websites below, take notes on the resources you find, and think about ways you can share these resources with your staff.
You can also consider how these resources could be used to support children in families experiencing other kinds of separation such as long-term illness, incarceration, or frequent travel.
The death of a parent is perhaps the most emotionally challenging event that can happen to a child. Use these resources below to help you support the mental health of children and youth as they process their grief. Take note of the resources you may wish to share with staff members and families as needed. In addition, use the two-page Supporting Children Who Are Experiencing Stress from Child Care Aware to better support staff who work with children experiencing anxiety.
Finally, see the Resources for Military Children Affected by Deployment resource compiled by the U.S. Army Family and Morale, Welfare, and Recreation Command, Child and Youth Services. This provides a list of books and website resources that may help children prepare for and handle the deployment of their parent or close family member. You could add some of these books to your program library, and you could include some of these resources in program newsletters to assure families know of and are reminded about these resources. Another useful resource from Child Welfare Information Gateway includes some resources you may want to share with parents: https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/systemwide/diverse-populations/military/deploymentresources/.
- American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Fact Sheet: Children and Grief (2011). Free to download or order from: https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-Grief-008.aspx
Ways Child Care Providers Can Help Children Deal with Grief and Loss: https://childcare.extension.org/ways-child-care-providers-can-help-children-deal-with-grief-and-loss/
- Child Care Aware
Supporting Children Who Are Experiencing Stress
- Child Welfare Information Gateway
Deployment Resources for Families
- National Child Traumatic Stress Network
Traumatic Grief in Military Children: Information for Educators, Families, and Medical Providers (2008).
- Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS)
- TAPS Magazine
- Survivor Resource Kit
- Find a Support Group
- Seminars and Good Grief Camps
- The Dougy Center: The National Center for Grieving Children and Families
- How to Help a Grieving Child
- Activities for Children
- Kids and Funerals
- Help for the Holidays
- Developmental Grief Responses
- Helping Children Grieve: Sesame Street
Center for the Study of Social Policy (2013). Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework. Retrieved from https://cssp.org/our-work/projects/protective-factors-framework/
Ginburg, K., & Jarlow, M. M. (2014). Building resilience in children and teens: Giving kids roots and wings (3rd edition). American Academy of Pediatrics. More information available at http://www.fosteringresilience.com/index_parents.php
Harper Browne, C. (2014). The Strengthening Families Approach and Protective Factors Framework: Branching out and reaching deeper. Washington, D.C.: Center for the Study of Social Policy. Retrieved from https://cssp.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Branching-Out-and-Reaching-Deeper.pdf
Huebner C.R. (2019). Health and Mental Health Needs of Children in US Military Families. AAP Section on Uniformed Services, AAP Committee on Psychosocial Aspects Of Child And Family Health. Pediatrics. 143(1). Retrieved from http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/pediatrics/143/1/e20183258.full.pdf
Morse, M. D. (n.d.). A Closer Look for Current Conditions: A Fresh Glance at the Emotional Cycles of Deployment. Retrieved from http://sutter.networkofcare.org/veterans/library/article.aspx?id=2127
Pincus, S. H., House, R., Christenson, J., & Adler, L. E. (2004). The Emotional Cycles of Deployment: A Military Family Perspective.
Sesame Workshop. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.sesameworkshop.org/
Zero to Three: National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families. (n.d.). Coming Together Around Military Families. Retrieved from www.zerotothree.org/about-us/funded-projects/military-families